Do You Want to Come Back? (part 2)

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Do You Want to Come Back?
(part 2)

(continued from part 1)

I can now see God is really patient and has a plan. He's at work long before we have the slightest idea something is happening. Then, when we are perfectly in His sights, it happens. Sometimes so quickly, it can seem like the change happens overnight!

Well, I walked close with Jesus for many, many years after that. But imperceptibly slow and in the background there was another power at work. One that was clever and undetected till decades later, when that adversary was able to weaken my faith and the relationship with Jesus, enough for me to wander away from God again.

I had gotten in trouble with the IRS in my business and had to find a way to pay the back taxes I owed. I made an arrangement with the IRS and worked day and night for a full year to finally pay off my tax debt. During that year, I had sacrificed time with my family, my church, and my God. At the end of that year I found, that though my family was still there, I had slowly grown distant from God, and was not sure how to get back… and the longer I was unsure and lost, the more I questioned whether I wanted to go back.

A few more years passed and now we come to that moment when the voice of the Holy Spirit is gently asking, "Do you want to come back?" and how I had replied, "No."

Well, I was sure that was it with God. Inside my head I'm thinking, "I can't believe you said NO to GOD", then another voice said, "Well now that's that. He's gone… gone for good."

This was becoming my conclusion. What else then could I think, when you say no thanks, to God?

Inspite of this, the following years were awesome!

Money, success in whatever I did and getting rewarded for it. I had the best job I'd ever had. Highest pay, best boss, and even won 3rd prize in the Lottery. Things were good!

During that time I also lost my mom and that hurt… but even in that, I also gained a big inheritance (at least, big in my mind). My sorrow and pain was softened by the ability to now buy a nice home for my wife and I.

It is frightening to see how far one can wander once they cut loose from their one and only secure anchor in life. Drifting, far in the dark, alone with your family and things that make you feel safe.

The Devil doesn't need you to light candles and sit in the middle of circles and pentagrams to worship him, just let go of Jesus and the Wicked One will take you where you never intended to go, but there you are… like the proverbial Lamb to the slaughter and the Devil is the one holding the knife.

My Scream

But I have said, God is patient and He has a plan. A plan for good things, not evil and in all the things God does, He does good. And it's the goodness of God that leads us to repentance. This is what God was doing in the years after 2000 to me. He was being good. I was not in his service, but he got me a very nice home, a great Job, great boss, wonderful pay, awesome vacations. We might think it was the devil doing all that, after all - I had said NO to God. So why would God still do anything for me?

Then, here comes the world economy of 2008 crashing down. Company's falling like dominoes, jobs lost, retirement IRA's wiped out, stock market almost dead. And the government propping up monopolies so that the crash doesn't take the country down with it.

I lost my job. We went bankrupt. Next on the chopping block was our house. Half our income had dissapeared with the loss of my job and er had lots of bills we couldn't pay. Especially we couldnt pay the mortgage on our home. I knew we would loose the house… the question was… how soon?

It was now 2010 and it seemed that everything was turning bad for us.

(To be continued… part 3)